Welcome to my Blog

Blogging, weird. I don't have time to talk to my wife, don't have time to check facebook, but here I am blogging... sure why not. It's 10:30pm, I'm still at work... I've been up since yesterday at 6am (ok, I'll admit it, I had a 3 hour nap from 3am to 6am) but anyone who knows me knows that less than 7 hours of sleep does not a happy community make..

So why blog, jeez I don't know. I don't capture any of my thoughts or emotions anywhere, in fact I rarely acknowledge my emotions, and avoid thinking where possible... so why start capturing them now? My wife sent me a very inspirational blog link to a families blog where for years everything was great, they were the picture perfect family, until one day disaster struck and the parents were seriously hurt in a plane crash...

I drive 6 hours to and from Montreal to NJ every other weekend. How many miles does the average person travel between minor and major accidents... How many miles can you travel at 75 miles an hour in the dark/snow without meeting a deer/tree/semi/moron... all happy thoughts...

What are your alternatives, fly? Can't afford it. So take the bus, it leaves at 8am and arrives the next morning at 2am... for some reason they think going through buffalo is a good plan.. Fine, wiseass, take the train. One train per day, leaves at 10am and arrives at 9pm (if memory serves). So I'd get 12 hours with the family before having to get back on the train to come back...

Anyways enough whining, we've embarked on an adventure, an adventure that started 14 years ago with the words "Hi Honey, I'm pregnant" and went from there. I've battled my self, my wife, my family, more of myself, but there is nothing I would change from everthing that has happened.

I lied, in writting that I remember something I said to my wife, we should have had dogs first. Yes, the post is called ramblings for a reason, please follow the mexican jumping bean that is my train of thought....

Sawyer, our first dog (we have 3) changed me fundamentally. I now get dog people. I have spent easily 3000$ on that dog, and he was free to start with.. But his unconditional love, and adoration changed me, he mellowed me. I love sitting on the kitchen floor and burrying my head in his fur, smelling the fall leaves on him and the freedom (and wtf, the dude smells like bacon half the time...) and having him simply lie there and soak in my presence.

Some people can't stand having dogs around them, I was one of those people. I was a "cat" person until our first two litters of cats, then I was done... Now I am a dog person, with three dogs that love me, to match the three kids that love me.

So I started with whining about work, moved on to whining about driving, reminised about my dogs and kids where can I go next...

If you stumble on this blog, have patience, I'm sure it won't develop into anything interesting any time soon.. but maybe, just maybe, one day I'll say something quoteable, you never can tell.

I am probably the luckiest person I know. My wife is the most beautiful, patient, reliable, loving, supportive, insane, caring person I have ever known. These times away from her and the kids suck, if I weren't emotionally retarded I wouldn't be able to do it. as it is I don't know how she does it, she's far more sensitive and human than I am. She cries at comercials, press stories about people halfway across the world, and the thought that our kids are having trouble with school or life. How she copes with the 3 boys alone, unable to drive, in the middle of no where is beyond me. My only hope is that she doesn't realize she doesn't need me until i can get them all moved down here. My entire reason for being, my reason for working so hard for the last 10 years to get to where I am, is my wife.

I enjoy spoiling her, even though she hates it. I love buying her expensive things, I am jealous of people who's houses she compliments because I can't afford to set her up as my princess in her castle... I'm envious of her ebay girls and their bond, and jealous of her computer that gets to feel her touch 24/7... so yeah, I'm seriously messed up...:)