Happy new year?

I was all set to post on my blog this morning about how great my holiday season was, how I enjoyed spending time with my wife and two kids (kyle is 13 and a vampire, I think I saw him a total of 3 hours in 10 days and then only necause we forced him to come out for breakfast and dinner) but today we received some shocking news that a friend of ours passed away at the age of 42.

You never imagine these things happening, sure you think if I passed away what would happen to the kids and jenn, but you never give much thought to those around you and that they might not be there the next time you turn around. This loss has hit jenn hard, he was an old boyfriend of hers and a source on anx for me (pretty sure I spelled that wrong), but a fixture of sorts in our life. Facebook reunited them recently and they were comparing notes on life and getting back in touch. A blessing of sorts was that he passed quickly and painlessly, those left behind would rather some warning but by the same token its a reminder to not left things unsaid.

Kyle, your growing up great. I am harder on you that your brothers because you are older and have always acted older. I don't know what is normal for a 13 year old and don't know what I can or should expect from you, but all the same I love you, am proud of the man you are becoming, and hope you will leave room for us in your life.

Tristen, I love both of you. I love the tempermental grumpy kid who can't take anything I say without crying, I love the happy go lucky kid who understands that dads need alone time too, I love your sense of humour, your wit and desire to please. You too are growing up a fine young man, just stop measuring yourself against kyle. He does things his way, you do them yours, no one is better we are all different. Wheb you measure yourself against someone else, one of you will be disapointed. Be your own person, be the strong willed independant person you are, but do what I say!

Gavyn, oh my Gavyn. I hope I am strong enough for you litle man. You are the strongest willed of all my boys, and the only one who has won the vegetable argument. You take life at your own speed and the hell with life if it doesn't like it. You do need to lighten up a little and be more aware of those around you, that they have feelings to and though you can't feel them theyu hurt just as bad as yours do when someone calls you a name or makes fun of you.

Jenn. The center of my being, the only reason I do any of what I do. I know I don't say it often enough, and could never say it often enough, but I love you. I love you more and more each day we spend together. I don't know what I would be had we not met, so much of my life has been shared with you, so many if my experiences with you that I literally cannpot imagine what life would be like without you in it. Nevermind what would happen to the boys etc, I just do not know how I would go on without knowing you are a phone call or email away. I love you.

Mom, dad. Pretty sure neither of you know this exists, but I love you as well. I understand each of you more and more as my boys grow, and understand what I put you through and often wonder how you coped with you emotionally retarded self centered son.

Phil, don't think we ever got to know one another. You've always been my bigger brother the fountain of all knowledge, most of it later determined to be complete bullshit, but I've never know you as a person, or really though of you as anything more than my big brother. We have a bit in common, not a lot though I am sure if we made an effort we would find it was more than we expected.

Ulan, I know you read this, so chill out. The saphron raid this weekend was a pleasant change where when you screamed at the shammies for dropping a elemental totem you could laugh it off. Palla, bear with him, I think deep down there might be a nice guy in there somewhere, I'd recommend a golden retriever puppy to find it... Worked for me.

For the rest of you, if your not crying like a baby seek professional help. Lord knows I should.